Ugly Five

November 3, 2023

The warthog may have a ferocious appearance, but it actually has a calm temperament and enjoys rolling around in mud and dust. While they are mostly hairless, they do have tufts of hair on their jaw and a thicker mane on their back, which gives them a distinctive mullet-and-beard look akin to a seasoned ice hockey player.

Hyenas are known for their cackling “laughter,” but their physical features are less appealing. While adult hyenas may not be considered conventionally attractive, their cubs are widely regarded as some of the most adorable babies in the bushveld. However, as they mature, their looks deteriorate.

The vulture is a carnivorous bird that feeds on carcasses and carrion. Its featherless head and neck serve a practical purpose in preventing infection from parasites, but it also leaves them lacking the beauty of other birds.

Lastly, we have the Marabou stork, which is a sight to behold – and not necessarily in a good way. With its bald head, large bill, poor posture, skinny legs, and a pink sac at the base of its throat, it’s safe to say that it’s not winning any beauty contests. To make matters worse, it has a tendency to defecate on its own legs, so it may be best to avoid any close-up photos.

With its hodgepodge appearance, the wildebeest looks like it was constructed from a variety of spare parts, including the hind legs of a hyena, the body of a zebra, and the head of a buffalo. Unfortunately, this unusual combination also comes with a small brain, comparable to that of a guinea fowl.

What about the wilddogs? Do they qualify? What do you think?


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